Monday, October 29, 2007

CSI:Miami Sucks - Can You Dumb It Down Anymore?

I am not a perfectionist but I do have some limits of which I cannot stand.

I cannot stand the way David Caruso (who I do think had a promising career earlier on with NYPD Blue) stands and moves in the series.  He stands there, then while talking with you, shifts his body about 15-20 degrees and then 5 seconds later - shifts the opposite direction another 30-45 degrees.  It is almost as if he has the 'jimmy legs' or something. His character cannot sit still - cannot just stand there in one spot for more than 5 seconds without shifting.

I, also, cannot stand the usage of pseudo-technology in serials.  This is not real life - it is bullshit.  I am a fairly technical person - have been doing this for about 17 years now.  I kind of have an idea of what can and cannot be done. 

For instance - in the MATRIX: Revolutions (I think), the character TRINITY uses an exploit through a SSH session ... this is a well known exploit and is very believable.  This would be an example of truth in technology. 

On an extreme side of things, Swordfish is an example of extremely bad technology.  The show was dumbed down and glossed over to give the person an idea of what the protagonist was actually doing, when in reality, you don't sit at a computer and plug in a 1 inch USB key and hack the pentagon in 2 seconds - or better yet - A hacker didn't have a hummer while cracking an NSA code with a gun to his head or something like that.

Real life calls for real technology - not made up colorful graphics that explain nothing about the technology required to find the answer to a problem.

Back to CSI:Miami.  I just saw the episode DEEP FREEZE, which originally showed on 10-22-2007 and was flabbergasted (I love that word) at the supposed level of technology the crime labs was exhibiting.  They (the technicians) were analyzing an audio stream - but it wasn't just on a LDC panel or display... no... that wouldn't be good enough.  It had to be on several connected displays that were translucent and very brightly colored.  First off - I have never seen a translucent video display.  Not even at E3 or 'coming in 2010'. Secondly, the display was about 1 foot high and about 4 feet in length wrapped on the edge of a table (which has now been shown as a 12 inch deep monitor at CES 2008) - with a touch technology on the table top to move the slider around and select the portion of audio to analyze.  I don't suspect we will find this sort of technology for 7 more years.

I wish the studios would provide us with a real life drama about Crime Scene Investigation with a little dramatic flair.  The shows are losing their stature and their meaning.  A real CSI team doesn't have this technology and ususally must rely upon multiple agencies to interoperate properly and together to find the solution to a crime.  Now I am not suggesting that watching a show about RED TAPE and all would be very succesful - but I am suggesting that the studios should start treating us with a bit more respect and offer a show that challenges us more and gives us credit to not simply DROOL and go brain-dead because they have colorful catchy graphics or such. 

Quincy M.E. still ranks in my book as the #1 crime-drama - Along with Dragnet.

Thanks.

Bill

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