Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Shadows of the Past

Is it odd to see a shadow of a ghost?  A quick double take of myself as I walk past a reflective glass door in my office building produces a faint memory or subconscious neural spark of my father.  I swear it is him in the glass and not me staring in my direction, focusing intently upon the man I have become or have yet to become still. 

I dressed today in gray slacks and black polo shirt with a leather belt and black leather shoes.  I remember quickly that this is almost the exact outfit my father donned for years and years as he slaved away from 6 AM until 6 PM at the myriad of dealerships situated throughout Santa Clara Valley.  I find great comfort and joy in feeling this mental connection with my long past father.  This year marks the 5 year anniversary of his passing and I miss him as much today as I did the day he passed.  Death is such a difficult concept for children, much less adults who have a learned background and understanding and even more, those with a religious fevor and further understanding of what is to come.

The shoes on my feet are comfortable and warm and are of the same style Dad used to wear.  They are not fashionable in any sense and might be counter-fashionable to my outfit, but they bring great joy with the remembrance they foster and within that context, they are the best pair of shoes I have ever had in my life.

Do I see a ghost in the glass?  I see more than a ghost. I see the culmination of a great love, born of my parents and fostered by their years of dedication to their children, to themselves and to God. 

A ghost?  No.

More of a spirit of the man I am still destined to become.

Blessings to all,
Bill 


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