Over the next nine weeks, I will be partaking in a discussion at my church in which we hope to develop an identity to this religious movement we call Catholicism. I have been chosen as a table facilitator and while I will be relating my experiences and stories, they will only be my stories and experiences for the sake of privacy. It is important to me to document the process and hopefully create a journalized view of my experiences and answers to the many questions and discussions we will be having.
Last Thursday, the facilitators got together to talk about the makeup of the next nine sessions and the itinerary of our 1 1/2 hour meetings. We opened with a prayer to God and a reading from the bible. Then we dove into a question in which we shared with the table that related to the reading: "What cross is it that we bear, today? What is it that gives us the most concern or anxiety?"
Not a bad first question. There were a myriad of answers from people as they spoke to their personal lives, but when it came time for me to answer, I thought for a moment and the thing that always pops to the front of my mind is my family.
Everything else could be falling apart in my life; my job, my credit, my volunteer work, my hobbies and electronics... But not my family. I need to be present to my family in every way and in every action. My cross is wondering if I am fulfilling my promise to GOD and my wife. Are my actions good enough to carry my children and prepare them for the future? Am I too strict in their lives or are the boundaries I set the right mixture of love and responsibility? I am quick to anger and although I am highly conscious of this fault of mine, it is really hard to reign it in.
With the help of my Father in Heaven, the love of my wife and the teachings of my father before me, I feel my kids are well loved and balanced.
Being a parent is the hardest thing I have done in my life but it has the most magnificent rewards. I can only imagine how GOD felt about his son Jesus as he grew into a man and laid his life down for our salvation and our sins.
With the love of God,
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