|I don't drink - this is the closest I get to |
'pouring out my liquor' for my father!
My father passed away 9 years ago from Leukemia. It was a very fast passing and we only had 2 months of time with him before he left us. To this day, there are many things I wish I could have done differently to be more present to him. I wasn't a good son. The internal struggle between being selfish and not wanting to see someone waste away and the side of me that wanted to be a good son and remain present in the moment to witness his passing - a terrible thing for me to fester with these past 9 years. He was a good man. He deserved better than me.
So each year, I bring him his cigarettes and a coca-cola - his favorite. I stay and I talk with him a bit and fill him in on what is new. I believe my father can hear me no matter where I talk with him, but I think this makes me feel better to be as present to his lifeless body as one can be.
Below are some pictures I took to help me remember my past and to enjoy my present.